Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
