my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
