Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
