he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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