In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
