Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize