Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i think i have two assholes
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
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