I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
