My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
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