I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
