tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
