sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Randomize