yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
