When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
