I CAN MOONWALK!
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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