This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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