The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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