I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Im part way to drunk.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Randomize
