he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
