She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
