i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
