Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
one might say we're banned from that church
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
