Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
