Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize
