Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
