Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
