Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
