Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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