im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
