I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
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