well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
