What did we do last night that was yellow?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
