You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
