she was so not down for the gang bang
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
