I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
