we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
