why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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