I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
