I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
