We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
