Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
