By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Randomize
