he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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