Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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