Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
