how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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