Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
