went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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