It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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