I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Randomize
