Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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