Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
