Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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