great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
