I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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