Your tits are I can't wait for
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
